Friday, September 03, 2004
Mountainous Molehills
This morning I noticed there was a beam in my eye of extraordinary size. This is not the first time that this has happened, and I often wonder who on Earth is doing this.
But once I consulted the mirror, I had a vivid recollection of an experience during the night involving a McDonalds employee. He was wearing his crew uniform, with several badges for keeping the toilets in good order, and then flipping burgers successfully, though not necessarily in that order.
The bastard came up to me with a beam and stuck it deep within my eye and forced me to eat a Turnip Tower!
Fortunately, this was only a dream, else I would have had to cut open my intestines to remove the evil Turnip from my body, as the process of expungement would take far too long. Eating Turnips against my will has always been one of my biggest fears. It's rape, in a fashion.
Anyway, I attempted to pull this beam out of my eye, but it proved far too difficult; it was going nowhere fast. As you can imagine, it made for movement around and about all day quite difficult, so I Fearlessly gouged out my eye, which solved the problem.
All Hail The Rev! For He Has No Quandary In Sacrificing A Part Of His Body To Make Himself Feel Better! He Is A Bold Individual! Next Time You Are Dying With A Hangover, I Suggest You Try The Same Thing By Chopping Off Your Head.
But once I consulted the mirror, I had a vivid recollection of an experience during the night involving a McDonalds employee. He was wearing his crew uniform, with several badges for keeping the toilets in good order, and then flipping burgers successfully, though not necessarily in that order.
The bastard came up to me with a beam and stuck it deep within my eye and forced me to eat a Turnip Tower!
Fortunately, this was only a dream, else I would have had to cut open my intestines to remove the evil Turnip from my body, as the process of expungement would take far too long. Eating Turnips against my will has always been one of my biggest fears. It's rape, in a fashion.
Anyway, I attempted to pull this beam out of my eye, but it proved far too difficult; it was going nowhere fast. As you can imagine, it made for movement around and about all day quite difficult, so I Fearlessly gouged out my eye, which solved the problem.
All Hail The Rev! For He Has No Quandary In Sacrificing A Part Of His Body To Make Himself Feel Better! He Is A Bold Individual! Next Time You Are Dying With A Hangover, I Suggest You Try The Same Thing By Chopping Off Your Head.
