Monday, August 09, 2004
Running With A Bit
When Plastic Annie knocked on my door earlier, I almost was taken aback. But then again, I was not. You see, Plastic Annie is the insulting name I have for a 98-year-old wretchy hag who lives next door to my Vicarage. She is all plastic these days, from her teeth, to her hips, to her hair and to her arse. I know, because I tried to feel it one hot day after a roaring sermon that she had particularly enjoyed.
Indeed, it may soon be that I have to call her Lego Annie, for she is more Lego Woman than Real Person.
Anyway, she came to my door seeking my advice. I listened to her heart-wrenching tale, gasping, ooohing, ahhhing and sympathising at all the appropriate moments, and told her immediately that she must have an abortion.
Good job I'm not a Catholic!
Once she'd left, I decided I need to do a sermon about Old Age Promiscuity. It is on the rampage in Milton Keynes.
And I don't ever want to hear about it again.
It's sickening.
Respect The Parsnip! For He Has The Guts To Listen To Disgusting Stories About An Old Dear Being Taken Up Roads She'd Never Had The Pleasure Of Visiting!
Indeed, it may soon be that I have to call her Lego Annie, for she is more Lego Woman than Real Person.
Anyway, she came to my door seeking my advice. I listened to her heart-wrenching tale, gasping, ooohing, ahhhing and sympathising at all the appropriate moments, and told her immediately that she must have an abortion.
Good job I'm not a Catholic!
Once she'd left, I decided I need to do a sermon about Old Age Promiscuity. It is on the rampage in Milton Keynes.
And I don't ever want to hear about it again.
It's sickening.
Respect The Parsnip! For He Has The Guts To Listen To Disgusting Stories About An Old Dear Being Taken Up Roads She'd Never Had The Pleasure Of Visiting!
