Thursday, August 12, 2004
Retirement Imminent!
At the grand Old age of ... it seems that the Church are preparing to pension me off. I am not best pleased with this, as this would be something of an "early retirement" in Church terms. As you no doubt know, many priests prefer to drop dead while at the height of Sergasm, the technical term for the emotional and physical high a Preacher may reach when delivering the key phrases of an Important Sermon.
So it does seem odd that this morning I received a personal letter from my old friend, Archbishop Rowan Williams. In it, he thanks me for my long years of service and tells me all about my financial arrangements.
It seems I shall be getting a huge tax-free payoff.
This is all looking very odd. Why now? Why the hurry? Milton Keynes still needs my help to overcome its current brown patch (which has been going on since its creation in the 60s) and become not just a New Town, but a Parsnip Town. Another notch on my bedpost!
I smell a conspiracy. Either that or I've been sticking pens in my toaster again without realising. It Was An Experiment, Guv'nor, Honest! I Thought It Might Turn Into Toast Too!
Signed,
The Curious Parsnip
So it does seem odd that this morning I received a personal letter from my old friend, Archbishop Rowan Williams. In it, he thanks me for my long years of service and tells me all about my financial arrangements.
It seems I shall be getting a huge tax-free payoff.
This is all looking very odd. Why now? Why the hurry? Milton Keynes still needs my help to overcome its current brown patch (which has been going on since its creation in the 60s) and become not just a New Town, but a Parsnip Town. Another notch on my bedpost!
I smell a conspiracy. Either that or I've been sticking pens in my toaster again without realising. It Was An Experiment, Guv'nor, Honest! I Thought It Might Turn Into Toast Too!
Signed,
The Curious Parsnip
