Parsnips For All

I've been having a little Open Day at my Vicarage today. I've had a revolving door policy, as one member of my congregation comes in, I dismiss another one from my house, usually in floods of tears as I condemn them to Hell for their sins. But they all come back for more. They love it!

There's also an element of excitement involved as the day draws to a close. For it has been fortold... the person still in my Vicarage at the end of the day must remain there forever: that is the Risk of the Revolving Door Policy! If they are a woman, they shall become my New Wife, and I will chain them to the kitchen sink. If they are a man, I'll kick them in the genitals and they shall be my new Chattel Slave.

Since most of the people here today are women, then I should have myself a nice new wife at the end of the day. Obviously, I try to do my condemnation a little faster when an ugly bint comes into the room to seek My Advice, as I wouldn't want to end up married to another disgraceful excuse for a woman; I already had one of those in my last Wife.

So Crack Out The Champagne!

All Hail The Rev, For He Will Get Laid Tonight Without Having To Pay For It!