Wednesday, August 25, 2004
Long Time Passing!
How odd. I have been offline for a couple of days while I ramped up my computer with Brand Spanking New Bits, but it was longer than I anticipated. After all, it caused me to miss Ask Teh Rev yesterday, which is exceedingly unusual, and I apologise to you all who were looking forward to Tuesday with great anticipation, only to have your hopes dashed by my failure to run a timely upgrade!
Today, I found an extraordinarily useful feature in the bottom of my Vicarage. There is a rather large pipe, buried deep underneath a small pond that was built in the early 80s. I found this pipe purely by chance, while I was digging up a small grave for a sparrow I had accidently pounded with my shovel while attempting to imitate an Olympic event. I won't explain where the shovel is involved in swimming, however.
Anyway, this pipe appears to be very fat, and I followed it for several miles, where it led to a rather large underground bunker.
Then, I was shocked!
Inside the bunker appeared to be secret plans to overthrow the Russian Government! This is disgusting. And they were signed personally by Tony Blair.
My main concern is that I didn't find secret papers plotting to overthrow the Way of the Parsnip. This means, of course, that I haven't caused enough trouble of late. I want to be on MI5 Subversive Lists!
Later, I smashed open the pipe and found it contained crack cocaine! There's definitely something suspicious going on. I just hope my septum holds out for as long as it requires for me to solve this mystery.
Today, I found an extraordinarily useful feature in the bottom of my Vicarage. There is a rather large pipe, buried deep underneath a small pond that was built in the early 80s. I found this pipe purely by chance, while I was digging up a small grave for a sparrow I had accidently pounded with my shovel while attempting to imitate an Olympic event. I won't explain where the shovel is involved in swimming, however.
Anyway, this pipe appears to be very fat, and I followed it for several miles, where it led to a rather large underground bunker.
Then, I was shocked!
Inside the bunker appeared to be secret plans to overthrow the Russian Government! This is disgusting. And they were signed personally by Tony Blair.
My main concern is that I didn't find secret papers plotting to overthrow the Way of the Parsnip. This means, of course, that I haven't caused enough trouble of late. I want to be on MI5 Subversive Lists!
Later, I smashed open the pipe and found it contained crack cocaine! There's definitely something suspicious going on. I just hope my septum holds out for as long as it requires for me to solve this mystery.
