Saturday, July 10, 2004
A Thought or Two
While driving around in my Parsnippery Flavoured Ice Cream van today, vending nutritious substances to the good people of Milton Keynes (and other less wholesome, and other more "herbal" substances for substantial profit, oho!), an intriguing thought occured to me.
Unfortunately, that thought has since been forgotten.
The Brain of the Parsnip is not as sharp as it once was.
The alarming part of this is that my Thought happened at just precisely the moment I released my foot off the brake. I cannot recall if the Thought caused me to release the pressure, or if the release of pressure called the Thought into my brain.
But this event led to a rather sharp fall. The Parsnip Van rolled into a deep hole dug in the road. It crashed, burned and exploded with me in the cabin.
Of course, the Fire Brigade soon arrived and put out the flames. Parsnips can be highly flammable, but not This Parsnip. I emerged from the flames unscathed without a single burn on my body. The Fire Chief was astounded that I just walked free of the 1000 degree flames. As I walked forward, carrying my Favourite Parsnip Firm and Strong in my Hand, I directed it towards the flames, and they quelled and vanished, allowing me a free passage, almost akin to how the Lord Jesus parted the waves!
Well, my Parsnip Parted the Flames!
Naturally, the Fire Brigade are now big followers of the Way of the Parsnip. I have instructed them to replace their enormous hoses with a special crop of My Parsnips. That way, they can channel and direct the flames. Indeed, I have been invited to a special community open day, during which I shall demonstrate to all how to save themselves using a Parsnip when their microwave TV dinner has been accidently placed in the oven, rather than the microwave as the name implies it should be.
You would be surprised how often this happens in Milton Keynes. Or perhaps you wouldn't if you know the area.
God Blessed the Parsnip Today! He survived through a Miracle!
The Way of the Parsnip can Open the Path To True Miracle Making!
(But He cannot Solve Your Financial Crises. I already have one of my own which I shall solve tomorrow with the Joys of the Pay Dearly For Your Sins Collection Plate!)
Unfortunately, that thought has since been forgotten.
The Brain of the Parsnip is not as sharp as it once was.
The alarming part of this is that my Thought happened at just precisely the moment I released my foot off the brake. I cannot recall if the Thought caused me to release the pressure, or if the release of pressure called the Thought into my brain.
But this event led to a rather sharp fall. The Parsnip Van rolled into a deep hole dug in the road. It crashed, burned and exploded with me in the cabin.
Of course, the Fire Brigade soon arrived and put out the flames. Parsnips can be highly flammable, but not This Parsnip. I emerged from the flames unscathed without a single burn on my body. The Fire Chief was astounded that I just walked free of the 1000 degree flames. As I walked forward, carrying my Favourite Parsnip Firm and Strong in my Hand, I directed it towards the flames, and they quelled and vanished, allowing me a free passage, almost akin to how the Lord Jesus parted the waves!
Well, my Parsnip Parted the Flames!
Naturally, the Fire Brigade are now big followers of the Way of the Parsnip. I have instructed them to replace their enormous hoses with a special crop of My Parsnips. That way, they can channel and direct the flames. Indeed, I have been invited to a special community open day, during which I shall demonstrate to all how to save themselves using a Parsnip when their microwave TV dinner has been accidently placed in the oven, rather than the microwave as the name implies it should be.
You would be surprised how often this happens in Milton Keynes. Or perhaps you wouldn't if you know the area.
God Blessed the Parsnip Today! He survived through a Miracle!
The Way of the Parsnip can Open the Path To True Miracle Making!
(But He cannot Solve Your Financial Crises. I already have one of my own which I shall solve tomorrow with the Joys of the Pay Dearly For Your Sins Collection Plate!)
