Wednesday, July 07, 2004
Ridiculous!
It's unbelieveable!
I've just been to my local post office. I purchased a nice A4 envelope, plus some stamps.
The cheap envelope wouldn't stay stuck together! So I searched my house for some sellotape. I couldn't find any, and yet I always have sellotape as it comes in very handy for certain games I play when the Old Dears come to visit.
On further searching I located a stick of runny glue. I applied it to the envelope folds, and - lo and behold - the glue failed! A simple job... exactly what glue is supposed to do, and it would not hold the two flaps together. Of course, As a Parsnip With Might and Power, I am quite used to dividing flaps and forcing through with an Explosive Thrust.
But I could not stand the sight of these disunified folds!
In my disgust I tore up the envelope. Envelopes are not allowed to resist the Parsnip, and this is deeply infuriating. Never before have I encountered such a blasphemous piece of wood pulp.
I was about to go out to buy a new envelope when I spotted that I already had an A4 envelope. It had been used before, but I had since found a tube of Pritt Stick. This seems to work.
But where are my stamps?
ARGH! I had put them in the bin on the envelope I tore up.
I rushed to the bin and rescued the several pieces of the envelope.
It was beyond hope. One of my tears across it had caught the middle of both stamps.
A waste of £1! God does not look kindly upon wastes of money! Especially if that money could have been spent on a bottle of Jack Daniels otherwise.
The Lesson: Do Not Tear Up Your Envelopes If You Have Already Put Your Stamps On Them. Hold Fire on your Fury Until The Situation Is Assessed.
Also, Never Run Out of Sellotape! You never know When You Might Need It!
Hail the Parsnip, who brings you good Advice Daily.
I've just been to my local post office. I purchased a nice A4 envelope, plus some stamps.
The cheap envelope wouldn't stay stuck together! So I searched my house for some sellotape. I couldn't find any, and yet I always have sellotape as it comes in very handy for certain games I play when the Old Dears come to visit.
On further searching I located a stick of runny glue. I applied it to the envelope folds, and - lo and behold - the glue failed! A simple job... exactly what glue is supposed to do, and it would not hold the two flaps together. Of course, As a Parsnip With Might and Power, I am quite used to dividing flaps and forcing through with an Explosive Thrust.
But I could not stand the sight of these disunified folds!
In my disgust I tore up the envelope. Envelopes are not allowed to resist the Parsnip, and this is deeply infuriating. Never before have I encountered such a blasphemous piece of wood pulp.
I was about to go out to buy a new envelope when I spotted that I already had an A4 envelope. It had been used before, but I had since found a tube of Pritt Stick. This seems to work.
But where are my stamps?
ARGH! I had put them in the bin on the envelope I tore up.
I rushed to the bin and rescued the several pieces of the envelope.
It was beyond hope. One of my tears across it had caught the middle of both stamps.
A waste of £1! God does not look kindly upon wastes of money! Especially if that money could have been spent on a bottle of Jack Daniels otherwise.
The Lesson: Do Not Tear Up Your Envelopes If You Have Already Put Your Stamps On Them. Hold Fire on your Fury Until The Situation Is Assessed.
Also, Never Run Out of Sellotape! You never know When You Might Need It!
Hail the Parsnip, who brings you good Advice Daily.
