Sunday, July 25, 2004
The Great Return
As a Reverend, I often find that sorry seems to be the hardest word. As such, I never apologise. But there is a good reason for that, because there is never anything to apologise for. The Way of the Parsnip is Always Right and True.
This was amply demonstrated to me whilst on my summer pilgrimage the past week or so. It is indeed good to be home again, however, one must counter-balance that with the woeful sense of foreboding that living in Milton Keynes brings.
I digress. My pilgrimage was short but it was effort filled. I whipped up a storm in the local village I stayed in, largely by soft goading. I would often go into the apres-ski bars and clubs at night and mix up a storm. It is remarkably easy how people let me be the Guest DJ for the evening, simply by discussing how I can put a good word in with the Lord. For did the Good Lord not say, "Judge the Parsnip not, Lest Ye Be Judged By Him"?
The turntables were scratched and the low fitting jeans were brought out with style and aplomb. The Vicar became the most popular attraction in a village that seemed to be stuck in the 1950s. I brought the village right up to date!
They soon saw the light! No longer is Austria 94% Catholic! They are now under my Power!
On my return I made a detour through Switzerland and visited a bank. There, I opened up a nice new Swiss bank account through which I can store my ill-gotten gains. Wait! They aren't ill-gotten...
Hmm, I should never have typed that. Now I am suspicious. Someone is planting evil thoughts in my brain. There's something I'm missing... I should not be using such a poor cliché at this time of morning.
Fear the Parsnip! For He Will Now Analyse The Situation Like a Good University Professor And Solve The Problem! There Is No Need To Worry!
This was amply demonstrated to me whilst on my summer pilgrimage the past week or so. It is indeed good to be home again, however, one must counter-balance that with the woeful sense of foreboding that living in Milton Keynes brings.
I digress. My pilgrimage was short but it was effort filled. I whipped up a storm in the local village I stayed in, largely by soft goading. I would often go into the apres-ski bars and clubs at night and mix up a storm. It is remarkably easy how people let me be the Guest DJ for the evening, simply by discussing how I can put a good word in with the Lord. For did the Good Lord not say, "Judge the Parsnip not, Lest Ye Be Judged By Him"?
The turntables were scratched and the low fitting jeans were brought out with style and aplomb. The Vicar became the most popular attraction in a village that seemed to be stuck in the 1950s. I brought the village right up to date!
They soon saw the light! No longer is Austria 94% Catholic! They are now under my Power!
On my return I made a detour through Switzerland and visited a bank. There, I opened up a nice new Swiss bank account through which I can store my ill-gotten gains. Wait! They aren't ill-gotten...
Hmm, I should never have typed that. Now I am suspicious. Someone is planting evil thoughts in my brain. There's something I'm missing... I should not be using such a poor cliché at this time of morning.
Fear the Parsnip! For He Will Now Analyse The Situation Like a Good University Professor And Solve The Problem! There Is No Need To Worry!
