Thursday, July 29, 2004
Firestarter!
Some say that I'm a firestarter. A twisted firestarter.
This is simply not true.
I did not burn down the local tavern because it was called "Turnip Inn". I torched it because it was called the "Turnip Inn".
There is a world of difference. Torching involves a great deal of skill, particularly finding a good size green glass bottle, filling it with petrol from the local garage (and not paying for the goods, of course). Then, it is essential to find a good quality newspaper: The Times is always a classic, and then stuffing it into the bottle but leaving just enough hanging out to give a clean connection to the naked flame then applied.
Only a Zippo lighter will do to light the paper.
Optimum trajectory calculated via trigonometry.
Launch! Crash! Bang!
Then stand back and watch the Heretics Burn. It was like Joan of Arc. But a more Glorious version of Joan of Arc. Somewhat like watching Jeffrey Archer burn at the stake. Now that would be something people would pay to see.
Fear The Parsnip! For His Molotov Cocktails Of Love Will Bless You If You Do Not Pay The Protection Racket Money!
This is simply not true.
I did not burn down the local tavern because it was called "Turnip Inn". I torched it because it was called the "Turnip Inn".
There is a world of difference. Torching involves a great deal of skill, particularly finding a good size green glass bottle, filling it with petrol from the local garage (and not paying for the goods, of course). Then, it is essential to find a good quality newspaper: The Times is always a classic, and then stuffing it into the bottle but leaving just enough hanging out to give a clean connection to the naked flame then applied.
Only a Zippo lighter will do to light the paper.
Optimum trajectory calculated via trigonometry.
Launch! Crash! Bang!
Then stand back and watch the Heretics Burn. It was like Joan of Arc. But a more Glorious version of Joan of Arc. Somewhat like watching Jeffrey Archer burn at the stake. Now that would be something people would pay to see.
Fear The Parsnip! For His Molotov Cocktails Of Love Will Bless You If You Do Not Pay The Protection Racket Money!
