Wednesday, June 23, 2004
When Will They Learn?
I have acquired a new toy. It's is a van. But it's not any old van. This one has a sliding window on the side through which I can vend items. It also has a jingly bell which I can peal at any moment, particularly to attract the attention of the local youths, who will come forth with money to sample my wares.
Normally these vans are used to sell ice-cream.
But I will be using mine to purvey The Parsnip onto the Good People (read: Bad People) of Milton Keynes. Thus, it will be a Van of God's Love, and the Love of the Parsnip. Love on Wheels is often an exciting concept, and most people will be very pleased to partake of the Parsnip in such a fashion.
As always! The Reverend Parson Peter Parsnip... i.e. Me... is on top of modern technology, looking for ever more resourceful and inventive ways through which I can Spread the Good News of the Way of the Parsnip.
In order for my project to succeed, I have eliminated all competition in the city to ensure I have a monopoly, and people will come to me and me alone. To do this, I harnessed all the Power of God's Love, in the shape of a sub-machine gun, lined up all those who wished to be blessed, and Sprayed Them with the Good Wishes of the Parsnip. I then bade them farewell as I buried them in my garden under the Patio, Brookside style.
It will take time for the children to adjust, that when they hear the blasts of Greensleeves, it will not be their local Ice-Cream Man, delivering frozen milky goods.
Instead, it will be the Parsnip, saving the Righteous, delivering Love and Goodness to all from as little as 99 pence, and Smiting the Wicked.
I have noticed that I can perform the latter duty especially well when I mow down the HEATHENS and squash them under my van.
Fear the Parsnip! For He Now Has More Power Than Ever!
Normally these vans are used to sell ice-cream.
But I will be using mine to purvey The Parsnip onto the Good People (read: Bad People) of Milton Keynes. Thus, it will be a Van of God's Love, and the Love of the Parsnip. Love on Wheels is often an exciting concept, and most people will be very pleased to partake of the Parsnip in such a fashion.
As always! The Reverend Parson Peter Parsnip... i.e. Me... is on top of modern technology, looking for ever more resourceful and inventive ways through which I can Spread the Good News of the Way of the Parsnip.
In order for my project to succeed, I have eliminated all competition in the city to ensure I have a monopoly, and people will come to me and me alone. To do this, I harnessed all the Power of God's Love, in the shape of a sub-machine gun, lined up all those who wished to be blessed, and Sprayed Them with the Good Wishes of the Parsnip. I then bade them farewell as I buried them in my garden under the Patio, Brookside style.
It will take time for the children to adjust, that when they hear the blasts of Greensleeves, it will not be their local Ice-Cream Man, delivering frozen milky goods.
Instead, it will be the Parsnip, saving the Righteous, delivering Love and Goodness to all from as little as 99 pence, and Smiting the Wicked.
I have noticed that I can perform the latter duty especially well when I mow down the HEATHENS and squash them under my van.
Fear the Parsnip! For He Now Has More Power Than Ever!
