Sunday, June 27, 2004
Sunday Service Number Two
It's been a remarkably quiet day. I have decided to spend it talking to my Parsnips.
Today's Sunday Service was busy, but I did not feel I had the energy to pull off another superb performance as I did last week. Instead, I just scared the living shit out of the Scum by telling them about Satan and his red hot poker. Also, the dangers of eating from McDonalds, which appeared to be a serious shock to most people there. It seems that a lot of the fat bastards in Milton Keynes have no life and no prospects.
So they gorge themselves on McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Indeed, I managed to extract a confession from an elderly man that he had eaten more than one Turnip Tower. I let people off with one. But two is no accident.
I shook the bastard till all his money fell out of his coat, and then put said money into the Collection Fund. Then I roared a Voodoo Curse on him, telling everyone that if anything goes wrong in their lives over the next seven days, it will because of This Evil Man! It will be him to blame, for he has Upset The Parsnip, and when The Parsnip is not Happy, then God May Intervene With Fearful Vengeance!
May God Have Mercy On Their Souls!
Today's Sunday Service was busy, but I did not feel I had the energy to pull off another superb performance as I did last week. Instead, I just scared the living shit out of the Scum by telling them about Satan and his red hot poker. Also, the dangers of eating from McDonalds, which appeared to be a serious shock to most people there. It seems that a lot of the fat bastards in Milton Keynes have no life and no prospects.
So they gorge themselves on McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Indeed, I managed to extract a confession from an elderly man that he had eaten more than one Turnip Tower. I let people off with one. But two is no accident.
I shook the bastard till all his money fell out of his coat, and then put said money into the Collection Fund. Then I roared a Voodoo Curse on him, telling everyone that if anything goes wrong in their lives over the next seven days, it will because of This Evil Man! It will be him to blame, for he has Upset The Parsnip, and when The Parsnip is not Happy, then God May Intervene With Fearful Vengeance!
May God Have Mercy On Their Souls!
