Friday, June 18, 2004
Pressing Forward!
Time Waits for No Parsnip!
My prayers have finally been granted. I have a new Parish!
The Archbishop of Cunterbury has told me that this is a "problem parish." He tells me that I will find this one an enormous challenge. The locale is full of wicked sinners; he suspects that most of them are inbreds. Most of them are unable to communicate in any meaningful way, talking in an accent exceedingly cutting, yet most of the time they babble incoherently and foam at the mouth.
Yes, folks. I have been sent to Milton Keynes.
He believes that my Powers of Communication, and My Rule With My Rod of Iron will get the message across. And I agree with him. It is time to Spread A Little of the Parsnip across more of God's Hallowed Earth!
I must begin packing. I am concerned that the Police may want to examine the contents of my "Parsnip Growth Laboratory" which I have under my hotel bed, as I understand they often vet incoming Vicars (the last was apparently a drugs baron! What a SINNER!!) ... but I will assure them that it is for my Personal Use Only. I will get away with Class C, I think.
I doubt the Archibishop of Cunterbury would mind if they filed a report to him. He looks like a man who experimented in his sinful youth days.
THE PARSNIP IS GOOD! HE WILL BE COMING SOON TO A CHURCH NEAR YOU!
PRAISE THE PARSNIP!!!
My prayers have finally been granted. I have a new Parish!
The Archbishop of Cunterbury has told me that this is a "problem parish." He tells me that I will find this one an enormous challenge. The locale is full of wicked sinners; he suspects that most of them are inbreds. Most of them are unable to communicate in any meaningful way, talking in an accent exceedingly cutting, yet most of the time they babble incoherently and foam at the mouth.
Yes, folks. I have been sent to Milton Keynes.
He believes that my Powers of Communication, and My Rule With My Rod of Iron will get the message across. And I agree with him. It is time to Spread A Little of the Parsnip across more of God's Hallowed Earth!
I must begin packing. I am concerned that the Police may want to examine the contents of my "Parsnip Growth Laboratory" which I have under my hotel bed, as I understand they often vet incoming Vicars (the last was apparently a drugs baron! What a SINNER!!) ... but I will assure them that it is for my Personal Use Only. I will get away with Class C, I think.
I doubt the Archibishop of Cunterbury would mind if they filed a report to him. He looks like a man who experimented in his sinful youth days.
THE PARSNIP IS GOOD! HE WILL BE COMING SOON TO A CHURCH NEAR YOU!
PRAISE THE PARSNIP!!!
