Saturday, June 26, 2004
Desmond Tutu: Failure
I arrived at my church this morning to examine the contents of the safe, in which our collection funds are stored.
I noted that the safe was empty, apart from the several thousand I have stashed from previous horsey winnings.
I was disgusted. Desmond Tutu's Friday Frolick (which is the name of Friday service in my church) seems to have failed miserably in putting bums on pews.
It seems that it is true. My People only wish to have The Parsnip. And if they do not get their Daily Dose of Parsnip, they will not be happy. They will not accept any substitutes. Even a Nobel Peace Prize winner.
So now I must really pull off a screamer at midday today. Only the highest attendance for a church ever will suffice. I need at least a few thousand! I need to buy fresh leaves for keeping my soul pure and full of God's Love! (And Bob Marley's!)
Respect The Parsnip! Who Was Hangover Free This Morning! God Shines Upon Me!
Do Not Trust Desmond Tutu!
I noted that the safe was empty, apart from the several thousand I have stashed from previous horsey winnings.
I was disgusted. Desmond Tutu's Friday Frolick (which is the name of Friday service in my church) seems to have failed miserably in putting bums on pews.
It seems that it is true. My People only wish to have The Parsnip. And if they do not get their Daily Dose of Parsnip, they will not be happy. They will not accept any substitutes. Even a Nobel Peace Prize winner.
So now I must really pull off a screamer at midday today. Only the highest attendance for a church ever will suffice. I need at least a few thousand! I need to buy fresh leaves for keeping my soul pure and full of God's Love! (And Bob Marley's!)
Respect The Parsnip! Who Was Hangover Free This Morning! God Shines Upon Me!
Do Not Trust Desmond Tutu!
