Friday, May 07, 2004
Yes indeed!
When I sing, the whole world listens. I can release an almighty bellow that everyone within a one kilometre radius can hear what is going on. This is due to the fact that I have been blessed with such a powerful booming voicebox. I think this is why I enjoy preaching to people, because I have this God-given talent which I shall not waste.
So this morning I tested it out by throwing open the windows and roaring: Abba - Waterloo. Only, I didn't sing the exact lyrics. Instead, I altered all the lyrics to be a derivative of the word "parsnip".
The whole town was doubtless woken up by this, but that's only what they deserve! It was 5am, and everyone should be up by this time. I soon gathered a loving crowd outside my balcony windows, and judging by the things they were throwing at me: e.g. soiled tampons and lavatory seats, I suspect they love me in the way that Tom Jones receives the gift of underwear from his lady fans. I could feel the love radiating from my fans, especially when one particular item of Love hit me square in the head, knocking me out for some 5 minutes.
Only by dragging people into the 21st Century with stunts like this will people begin to see past their complacency and come right into the modern age! The Way of the Parsnip will be the Way of the World soon!
I will post the Parish Council minutes later.
So this morning I tested it out by throwing open the windows and roaring: Abba - Waterloo. Only, I didn't sing the exact lyrics. Instead, I altered all the lyrics to be a derivative of the word "parsnip".
The whole town was doubtless woken up by this, but that's only what they deserve! It was 5am, and everyone should be up by this time. I soon gathered a loving crowd outside my balcony windows, and judging by the things they were throwing at me: e.g. soiled tampons and lavatory seats, I suspect they love me in the way that Tom Jones receives the gift of underwear from his lady fans. I could feel the love radiating from my fans, especially when one particular item of Love hit me square in the head, knocking me out for some 5 minutes.
Only by dragging people into the 21st Century with stunts like this will people begin to see past their complacency and come right into the modern age! The Way of the Parsnip will be the Way of the World soon!
I will post the Parish Council minutes later.
