Sunday, May 16, 2004
Unusual
So I carried out my plan. My visit to the London Eye was eventful to say the least.
I got into a capsule with about 20 other people. As we started to rise I called to them all and demanded their attention. They complied within seconds and without question! I was pleased to note that I have my Power back again. It could be related to the shotgun I was wielding, but that is immaterial. The Lord was guiding me, and the shotgun was merely for my safety, in case McDonalds had planted an informant in the capsule.
I preached to them and they listened. I forcefed them parsnips and they duly consumed. Then, when we reached the ground, we charged along the South Bank. Under my influence, they went into McDonalds and blocked the queues for hours with spurious requests for more ketchup, free coffee refills and attempts at getting hold of some stale donuts.
Outside, I took a loud hailer and blasted out a rendition of Born in the USA by Bruce Springsteen, with that trademark booming voice I have. The crowd loved me, as they too understood the true ironic meaning of this song as intended by Mr Springsteen. I pandered to the British public's loathing of the US administration, and it was only natural that soon they were destroying McDonalds! Once again the Way of the Parsnip had led people to do My Bidding without me having to do anything. This is how it should be, and it ensures that my criminal record remains unblemished. (apart from that slight charge for streaking at a Vegetable Fayre. I was making a protest about the lack of parsnips, so I showed them what a Real Parsnip looked like, ha!)
It was like the May Day riots all over again! Winston Churchill's statue was defaced with more than graffiti and some turf on his head, I can tell you. Piss and shit everywhere! I was amazed at the people who were able to shit on demand. That kind of talent belongs in the circus! I haven't been able to do that since I was a small child, when I used to cause such trouble for my parents at important functions.
The Riot Police were soon called in, and I slipped away into the shadows; my confidence restored in my own abilities. It is pleasing that I can still stir up support when I need it!
A good day, overall. I look forward to more challenges tomorrow.
I got into a capsule with about 20 other people. As we started to rise I called to them all and demanded their attention. They complied within seconds and without question! I was pleased to note that I have my Power back again. It could be related to the shotgun I was wielding, but that is immaterial. The Lord was guiding me, and the shotgun was merely for my safety, in case McDonalds had planted an informant in the capsule.
I preached to them and they listened. I forcefed them parsnips and they duly consumed. Then, when we reached the ground, we charged along the South Bank. Under my influence, they went into McDonalds and blocked the queues for hours with spurious requests for more ketchup, free coffee refills and attempts at getting hold of some stale donuts.
Outside, I took a loud hailer and blasted out a rendition of Born in the USA by Bruce Springsteen, with that trademark booming voice I have. The crowd loved me, as they too understood the true ironic meaning of this song as intended by Mr Springsteen. I pandered to the British public's loathing of the US administration, and it was only natural that soon they were destroying McDonalds! Once again the Way of the Parsnip had led people to do My Bidding without me having to do anything. This is how it should be, and it ensures that my criminal record remains unblemished. (apart from that slight charge for streaking at a Vegetable Fayre. I was making a protest about the lack of parsnips, so I showed them what a Real Parsnip looked like, ha!)
It was like the May Day riots all over again! Winston Churchill's statue was defaced with more than graffiti and some turf on his head, I can tell you. Piss and shit everywhere! I was amazed at the people who were able to shit on demand. That kind of talent belongs in the circus! I haven't been able to do that since I was a small child, when I used to cause such trouble for my parents at important functions.
The Riot Police were soon called in, and I slipped away into the shadows; my confidence restored in my own abilities. It is pleasing that I can still stir up support when I need it!
A good day, overall. I look forward to more challenges tomorrow.
