Parsnips For All

I love Tuesdays. This is my much heralded Open Day at my church. I open the doors of the church at 7am and then people come from far and wide to do whatever they like in the church. It doesn't even have to be religious! This is a much better use of Jesus's House in my own opinion, and I can feel Jesus's power running through the piss, shit and spraypaint that gets left everywhere. He meant for it to happen that way!

I do take offence to people having sex in the pews though.... when children are present. Their minds should not be being filled with such impure thoughts at an early age. Instead, they should keep their minds focused on the single goal that I set them: Parsnip Advocacy.