Friday, May 14, 2004
Revenge!
My programme of revenge has begun in earnest.
Yesterday, I discovered a wonderful thing down at the allotment. I discovered that if I squashed parsnips so much - and yes, I did feel sorry for the poor things at first for injuring them so badly, but it was worth it! - they eventually became so concentrated that within five minutes they will explode most horrifically, killing everyone within a 10m radius.
So I've slipped a few through the doors of the Heathens on the Parish Council and several Old Dears. As you can see, the Lord takes no prisoners when it comes to smiting those who have stood in His way. There will be no stopping the Way of the Parsnip.
Now, I am awaiting the explosions. Once I am satisifed with them, I will then begin my journey to Mevagissey airstrip, where I will make for New York. I hope to drop my Mighty Prize Parsnip out of the private jet I have acquired for the journey. This Parsnip weighs 100kg, and it was sad to have to squash Old Herbert so that I could do this, but I know he will not mind giving up his life for the noble pursuit of the destruction of the whole of Mevagissey.
Phear The Mighty Prize Parsnip, for He Will Smite All Those Who Challenged Him!
Wish me luck!
Yesterday, I discovered a wonderful thing down at the allotment. I discovered that if I squashed parsnips so much - and yes, I did feel sorry for the poor things at first for injuring them so badly, but it was worth it! - they eventually became so concentrated that within five minutes they will explode most horrifically, killing everyone within a 10m radius.
So I've slipped a few through the doors of the Heathens on the Parish Council and several Old Dears. As you can see, the Lord takes no prisoners when it comes to smiting those who have stood in His way. There will be no stopping the Way of the Parsnip.
Now, I am awaiting the explosions. Once I am satisifed with them, I will then begin my journey to Mevagissey airstrip, where I will make for New York. I hope to drop my Mighty Prize Parsnip out of the private jet I have acquired for the journey. This Parsnip weighs 100kg, and it was sad to have to squash Old Herbert so that I could do this, but I know he will not mind giving up his life for the noble pursuit of the destruction of the whole of Mevagissey.
Phear The Mighty Prize Parsnip, for He Will Smite All Those Who Challenged Him!
Wish me luck!
