Tuesday, May 04, 2004
I Win
I broke up the rave with extreme skill! I marched in there with my best DJ hat on and mix mastered the fuckers into the next millennium with a supreme selection of the best in classic rave hits!
This included Roy Orbison - You Got It: which I turn into a masterpiece of dance hardcore metal rave fusion with the deftness of my hand on the turntable... the same hands which the Old Dears know and love. Everything you want... w ... w.w.w.w...ww. waant! One more time!
Then I concluded with a remix of Handel's Water Music. This always goes down a treat. They loved me so much that I suggested they all celebrated by taking 40 E's at the same time! Gosh darn it, they all did! You should have seen them spasming on the floor! At first I thought they were dancing while smashed off their faces, but no... it was rather more disturbing.
I am worried that if I contact the coroner he will suspect that I killed them, but on second thoughts I realised that Mr Coroner values his seat on the Mevagissey Parish Council. He wouldn't do anything to jeopardise his assured and righteous ascent into Heaven! Or an opportunity to sit next to the delightful Mrs Gosworth while she takes his minutes at the meetings. I say!
As I told you before, I reign supreme in Mevagissey. My throne is arriving on Thursday.
Hail the Parsnip!
This included Roy Orbison - You Got It: which I turn into a masterpiece of dance hardcore metal rave fusion with the deftness of my hand on the turntable... the same hands which the Old Dears know and love. Everything you want... w ... w.w.w.w...ww. waant! One more time!
Then I concluded with a remix of Handel's Water Music. This always goes down a treat. They loved me so much that I suggested they all celebrated by taking 40 E's at the same time! Gosh darn it, they all did! You should have seen them spasming on the floor! At first I thought they were dancing while smashed off their faces, but no... it was rather more disturbing.
I am worried that if I contact the coroner he will suspect that I killed them, but on second thoughts I realised that Mr Coroner values his seat on the Mevagissey Parish Council. He wouldn't do anything to jeopardise his assured and righteous ascent into Heaven! Or an opportunity to sit next to the delightful Mrs Gosworth while she takes his minutes at the meetings. I say!
As I told you before, I reign supreme in Mevagissey. My throne is arriving on Thursday.
Hail the Parsnip!
