Thursday, May 20, 2004
I can't believe it!
My best laid plans for yesterday were ruined by the inconsiderate actions of a few others, who must clearly be in league with McDonalds and/or Satan.
I decided to pay a visit to Parliament and watch Prime Ministers Questions in action. Little old me managed to use his influence (a quick Parsnip Examination with a very attractive female MP, oho!) to get into the Public Gallery in front of the new screen they have. I had a clear view of the PM.
But then some fucker decided to throw a bag of purple cornflower into the chamber at the PM! Chaos ensued, and I felt like killing the bastard who'd done this as they'd taken my thunder.
In only another minute I was about to unleash a wave of parsnips onto the PM and the front bench (which I had sneaked in upon my person, (or parson)) roaring, "THE WAY OF THE PARSNIP IS FOREVER! SAVE YOURSELVES BY EATING PARSNIPS!" while I'd be dragged out of the chamber by burly security guards... although, of course, I could have slipped them a Parsnip up their backsides and made my daring escape.
My opportunity was ruined. I had no choice but to leave with no success.
So I made my way into the Central Lobby where I planted several of my favourite parsnips behind numerous radiators. With a bit of luck, in a few weeks time they will have rotted to buggery, and the smell will be atrocious! Knowing how overreactive they are, they'll probably think they're being attacked by sarin gas or something.
But No! It will merely be a message from the Parsnip!
Bow before it! Legislate to make Parsnip Growth a compulsory part of being a British Citizen!
Hail the Parsnip!
I decided to pay a visit to Parliament and watch Prime Ministers Questions in action. Little old me managed to use his influence (a quick Parsnip Examination with a very attractive female MP, oho!) to get into the Public Gallery in front of the new screen they have. I had a clear view of the PM.
But then some fucker decided to throw a bag of purple cornflower into the chamber at the PM! Chaos ensued, and I felt like killing the bastard who'd done this as they'd taken my thunder.
In only another minute I was about to unleash a wave of parsnips onto the PM and the front bench (which I had sneaked in upon my person, (or parson)) roaring, "THE WAY OF THE PARSNIP IS FOREVER! SAVE YOURSELVES BY EATING PARSNIPS!" while I'd be dragged out of the chamber by burly security guards... although, of course, I could have slipped them a Parsnip up their backsides and made my daring escape.
My opportunity was ruined. I had no choice but to leave with no success.
So I made my way into the Central Lobby where I planted several of my favourite parsnips behind numerous radiators. With a bit of luck, in a few weeks time they will have rotted to buggery, and the smell will be atrocious! Knowing how overreactive they are, they'll probably think they're being attacked by sarin gas or something.
But No! It will merely be a message from the Parsnip!
Bow before it! Legislate to make Parsnip Growth a compulsory part of being a British Citizen!
Hail the Parsnip!
