Wednesday, May 19, 2004
Ahead!
One of these days I'm going to find out who is behind all these strange voices I hear talking out of my favourite pen. This morning they woke me up from my hotel slumber at 3am to tell me all about the plight of the streetlights that burn all day because some bird has crapped on the light sensor.
This was most disturbing as I really don't think this is appropriate. I have long thought that the pen must be communicating messages from God, and in times gone by it has instructed me to demonstrate the Power of the Parsnip's parsnips to the Old Dears, as well as teaching me the best way to eliminate my rivals at the bowling green.
But now God wants me to help solve the problem of streetlights being on all day? This is something new, and I may be right to suspect that McDonalds have something to do with this. They have attuned into God's Humble Frequency and are attempting to brainwash me from the inside! There is only room for one brainwashing inside my head, and that is to receive the Pure and Loving Thoughts of the Almighty!
This will not do! I will Strike at McDonalds. And I will strike Today! Clearly the ransacking of the South Bank McDonalds in London wasn't good enough. God Willing, the Parsnip will prevail!
PS: there is no contradiction between God's Love and wreaking a terrible vengeance by wishing for a plague to strike down the employees of McDonalds.
This is merely the Way of the Parsnip! It is the only way to Get Things Done!
This was most disturbing as I really don't think this is appropriate. I have long thought that the pen must be communicating messages from God, and in times gone by it has instructed me to demonstrate the Power of the Parsnip's parsnips to the Old Dears, as well as teaching me the best way to eliminate my rivals at the bowling green.
But now God wants me to help solve the problem of streetlights being on all day? This is something new, and I may be right to suspect that McDonalds have something to do with this. They have attuned into God's Humble Frequency and are attempting to brainwash me from the inside! There is only room for one brainwashing inside my head, and that is to receive the Pure and Loving Thoughts of the Almighty!
This will not do! I will Strike at McDonalds. And I will strike Today! Clearly the ransacking of the South Bank McDonalds in London wasn't good enough. God Willing, the Parsnip will prevail!
PS: there is no contradiction between God's Love and wreaking a terrible vengeance by wishing for a plague to strike down the employees of McDonalds.
This is merely the Way of the Parsnip! It is the only way to Get Things Done!
